Sam: good, because i didn't do my homework.
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. -Brooke Shields
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse'.
Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an Insurance salesman?
Remember: Don't insult the alligator till after you cross the river.