29 June, 2010

Why?

A woman called up a pet store and said, "Send me thirty-thousand cockroaches at once."

"What in the world do you want with thirty-thousand cockroaches?" asked the astonished clerk.

"Well," replied the woman, "I am moving today and my lease says I must leave the premises in exactly the same condition I found them."

Rednecks Go Fishing

Two rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune!

The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.

As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"

The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"

01 June, 2010

High Temperature

A frantic mother told the pediatrician's office, "My baby has a high temperature!"

"How high is it?"

"102."

"How are you taking it?"

"Oh, I'm holding up pretty well!"

Marriage Wisdom

When a woman in my office became engaged, a colleague offered her some advice. "The first ten years are the hardest."

"How long have you been married?" she asked.

"Ten years," came the immediate reply.
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