A man and his wife were driving their Recreational Vehicle across the country and were nearing a town spelled Kissimee. They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it - KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME. They grew more perplexed as they drove into the town.
Since they were hungry, they pulled into a place to get something to eat. At the counter, the man said to the waitress:
"My wife and I can't seem to be able to figure out how to pronounce this place. Will you tell me where we are and say it very slowly so that I can understand."
The waitress looked at him and said: "Buuurrrgerrr Kiiiinnnng."
20 April, 2011
14 April, 2011
11 April, 2011
fax machine...
1stPerson: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"
2nd Person:"A little. Whats wrong?"
1st Person: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened."
2nd Person: "How did you load the sheet?"
1st Person: "Its a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient could open it and read it."
2nd Person:"A little. Whats wrong?"
1st Person: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened."
2nd Person: "How did you load the sheet?"
1st Person: "Its a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient could open it and read it."
31 March, 2011
Job Application...Resume..Lasagna??
I was unhappy with my job, so I submitted my resignation. I was sure I'd have no trouble finding a new position, because there was a shortage of people with my skill.
I e-mailed cover letters to dozens of potential employers, attaching a copy of my resume to each one. Weeks later, I was dismayed and bewildered that I hadn't received even one request for an interview.
Finally I received a response that explained it all: "Your resume was not attached as stated. I do, however, want to thank you for the vegetable lasagna recipe."
I e-mailed cover letters to dozens of potential employers, attaching a copy of my resume to each one. Weeks later, I was dismayed and bewildered that I hadn't received even one request for an interview.
Finally I received a response that explained it all: "Your resume was not attached as stated. I do, however, want to thank you for the vegetable lasagna recipe."
29 March, 2011
Explaining the Flag
A Dutchman was explaining the red, white, and blue Netherlands flag to an American.
"Our flag is symbolic of our taxes. We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bills, and blue after we pay them."
The American nodded. "It's the same in the USA only we see stars, too!"
"Our flag is symbolic of our taxes. We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bills, and blue after we pay them."
The American nodded. "It's the same in the USA only we see stars, too!"
25 March, 2011
haha!! men!!! :)
A man walks into a bar and orders martini after martini, each time removing the olive and placing it in a jar.
When all the drinks had been consumed, and the jar filled with olives, the the gentleman started to leave.
"Excuse me," says the bartender, "Would you mind tellin' me what that's all about?"
"Not at all. Y'see, my wife sent me out for a jar of olives."
When all the drinks had been consumed, and the jar filled with olives, the the gentleman started to leave.
"Excuse me," says the bartender, "Would you mind tellin' me what that's all about?"
"Not at all. Y'see, my wife sent me out for a jar of olives."
10 March, 2011
conflakes!! haha!!
A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."
He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh ............
"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."
He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh ............
"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
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